The Blame GameDo you play the blame game? To save your relationship it is imperative not to place blame onto others for the conflict, although you may feel that they are at least partly to blame. Blaming only distances the person and increases the likelihood that he will want to avoid you. It is better to accept your part of the responsibility with a smile. Some people spend too much time trying to figure out who is at fault, rather than coming to terms with a workable solution. It is time and energy wasted. I have known those who were absolutely obsessed with being right or finding out who was right in an argument. Why do we allow such trivial concerns to interfere with our relationships? It doesn’t matter who was right or wrong, and who was at fault. You will be able to save your relationship once you begin to cheerfully accept responsibility for your actions. Your relationship will go much better and the amount of conflict will decrease, once you stop pointing the finger. Who Is To BlameThis may sound like a contradiction, but if you want to save your relationship with yourself, then you must avoid blaming yourself, too. Feeling and acting guilty won’t help anyone. It just may entice others to manipulate you.All you have to do is accept responsibility for your own actions, avoid blaming or criticizing the other person, then work toward a fair and acceptable resolution - with a smile on your face. It sounds difficult, I know, but it’s not, really. It will take practice. And a great deal of resolve for you to make the change. If you want to save your relationship you must find out what the conflict is really about. And that may mean going deeper than the usual complaints. Playing the blame game won't help. If You're a Married CoupleThe argument may be about where you go on vacation, but the anger leftover from last month’s fight about how to spend the new bonus or windfall may be still simmering underneath the surface. It is important to stop and ask, “what this is really about” And, once you know, you need to think rationally about what your options are. Again, discuss it, and the two of you can decide.Each person needs to feel that he has control over his life, that he has a say in everything. No healthy person wants to be controlled in a relationship. Go To Relationships Problems from The Blame Game |
