Got Relationship Problems?
How To Tell If Your Relationship Is Helping You To Lead A Happy Life
Many people who have relationship problems can’t tell if their relationship is helping or hurting them. This brief article will provide you with a simple way to measure your relationship, and help you to decide if it’s assisting you to lead a happy life or an unhappy one.
Assess Your Relationship
Answer the following questions, yes or no:
- Do you still look forward to spending time with your relationship partner?
- Do you have loads of fun (and laughs) together?
- Does your partner make you feel upbeat and happy?
- When you and your partner are apart, do you miss him/her and look forward to being with him/her again soon?
- Are you and your partner best friends or at least really good friends?
If you answered “yes” to all or most of the questions, chances are your relationship is still working for you on some level. It may need improving, but there’s a foundation you can build on.
Signs Of Relationship Problems
Signs your relationship is not working to make you lead a happy life include the following:
✓ You don’t feel happy. Something isn’t right, or doesn’t feel right. Your heart is no longer in it, but your head is. There’s a void where there used be excitement.
✓ You feel unfulfilled or lonely. You are just going through the motions, but the relationship is no longer meeting your needs. Maybe you’re just afraid to admit it. Even when you are with your partner, you feel lonely or empty inside.
✓ You feel ambivalent about your relationship. Aside from an occasional doubt, you feel unsure of the relationship or wonder what you could do to spice up the relationship. It seems mediocre or old hat. Questions nag you, but you tend to ignore them or don’t know what to do about them.
✓ You’re no longer having fun together. You used to have fun together, but you’ve drifted apart or navigated away from doing the enjoyable things that made you happy in the past. You feel like you’re just trudging along or walking in quicksand.
How To Solve Your Relationship Problems
If you want to make your relationship work, it may be time to give it some TLC. A little special attention will go a long way to solving your relationship problems. Generally speaking, I think people often give up on their relationships before they should.
Or they won’t seek the kind of help they need to get the relationship going in a positive direction. Hanging in there is essential for long term success. Avoid the tendency to quit when you become discouraged. The success adage, Follow One Course Until Successful, applies to relationships, too. In fact, some of the world’s happiest relationships got off to a rocky start or have overcome serious problems.
F . . . Follow
O . . . One
C . . . Course
U . . . Until
S . . . Successful
Conquering The Honeymoon Phase
If the shiny, new luster has worn off your relationship, it may simply mean your relationship is changing and maturing. The honeymoon or infatuation phase only tends to last about a year or two, and then the relationship starts to seem less exciting and more problematic. Relationships need attention at this stage, and it’s wise to take care in adjusting to the subtle and gradual changes taking place.
Since the intoxicating glitter has faded, some people panic and think the relationship has failed . . . so they go out and find a new one that will fill them with rapture. The new excitement feels good for a while, but it too will eventually wear off.
All mature relationships learn to weather the storm and find ways to keep themselves happy and stimulated, while giving themselves time to settle into a deeper, more satisfying relationship.
Don’t let your relationship problems push you into ending your relationship prematurely. Give it time and try to work it out. On the other hand, if your relationship is dangerous and unhealthy, it may be wise to get out right away. Many people have worn themselves out trying to change a relationship partner with a serious problem, such as alcoholism or drug addiction, or a violent behavior problem.
Quick Steps You Can Take To Spice Up Relationships
- If your relationship has fallen into a rut, take immediate steps to reverse the pattern of behavior that leads to boredom. Inject new energy into your relationship by doing fun-filled things together, taking more quality time for your partner and recovering some of your lost relationship magic.
After committing themselves to their relationship, partners often get too serious, and stop having fun or playing together. Lighten up and make your relationship fun again!
- Communicate with your partner. Talk about the changes you’d like to make, or the issues you see and how they’re affecting your relationship. Devote some time to problem solving as a couple. Keep the discussion upbeat and positive. Focus your discussion on a few simple changes you want to make, not on what’s wrong! And create a sense of optimism.
- Avoid blaming your partner, or punishing him/her, and don’t be critical. Being critical only makes one partner feel good, but puts the other down. And it won’t help. Take responsibility for your part of the problem. That will help!
- Work as a team to improve your relationship.
- Seek the help of a relationship professional who will work with both of you together to solve the relationship problems and help you to re-design your relationship, and make it better than ever. A little time spent investing in your relationship can save you lots of heartache later on.
Listen To Yourself
In the end, listening to the quiet voice within is almost always the best thing you can do to know if your relationship is working. What does your heart say about your relationship problems? How does your intuition guide you? Be honest with yourself and pay attention to that quiet little voice inside you. It almost always speaks the truth, but we tend to turn it off or ignore it if we don’t agree with it. By listening to yourself, you’ll know.
Assess your relationship, establish communication about your relationship problems with your partner, Follow One Course Until Successful, conquer the intoxication or infatuation phase, take steps to spice up your relationship and listen to yourself. Soon you'll be on your way to enjoying a problem-solved relationship and you'll lead a truly happy life.
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