Resolving A Crisis

Are you resolving a crisis? There is never a substitute for sincere caring. Show that you care. Give, give, give. Stop saying “no” all the time, give up the criticisms, and try being more pleasant.

Accept responsibility for your actions. Be polite and respectful to your mate. Use a tender tone of voice. Stop using your marital problems as an excuse for being cranky, demanding and irritable.

• First Step. It begins by staying calm. Don't panic and get emotional. Keep control of yourself. Relax, take a deep breath and remain calm.
• Second Step. Listen to your partner. Find out what is upsetting him/her. Listen without judging or condemning.
• Third Step. Communicate your caring concern. Be sensitive to your partner's feelings. Be sympathetic.
• Fourth Step. If your partner becomes angry or emotional, give him/her time to cool off. Avoid being critical. Don't fall into a shouting match.
• Fifth Step. Work together to resolve the problem. Express confidence that you both can work it out together. Negotiate an equitable solution.
• And after the crisis is past: Express your love and reassurance for your partner. Promise to do your part to improve the situation.

Now get busy doing your part to solve the problem. Act constructively. Make your relationship a priority.

You’ll find it easier to work out your problems when you establish an upbeat and supportive emotional environment, and you keep your communications on a positive level, while you and your spouse are trying to resolve your differences. That way, you won't end up trashing your relationship in the process.

And a happy marriage will make the rest of your life more enjoyable.

Helpful Books for Resolving A Crisis

1. The Seven Principles Of Making Marriage Work by John M. Gottman, PhD.
2. How to Keep Love Alive by Ari Kiev, M.D.
3. Relationship Rescue: A Seven Step Strategy for Reconnecting With Your Partner by Dr. Phil McGraw

Go to Advice on Relationships from Resolving a Crisis