Stress Relief Made Easy

Why do you care about stress relief made easy? Stress, the silent killer, is a big problem for today's marriages and intimate relationships. Perhaps the number one problem! Stress can take a toll on relationships, especially intimate ones. By adopting effective strategies for defeating stress, we keep our relationships strong. Every couple should make an action plan.

We know how quickly the pressures of modern life stack up, perhaps invisibly attacking our relationships. Our hectic lifestyles, ambitious undertakings and outlandish expectations often undermine our best intentions. In our quest to have it all, we may wind up with more tension than we bargained for.

In today's world, stressed‑out relationships are inevitable. And their ill‑effects are compounded by our hectic way of life. Since stress in human relationships is contagious, it can wreck a marriage.

We Live in a Diseased and Angry World

Stressed-out spouses often end up criticizing each other, striking out when least expected, projecting anger, blame and frustration onto the ones we love the most. Why? One reason only, because they are there, in the line of fire. And aren't they the ones who are supposed to make everything better?

Stress can hold an intimate relationship hostage. It can rob it of joy, long before you realize what is at fault. It's as if one embattled spouse infects the other. Stress relief is just what the doctor ordered.

Paul J. Rosh, MD, refers to this as ". . . the domino effect of stress," in his book, "Coping with the Stressed‑out People in Your Life."

Thus, when subjected to seemingly overwhelming demands, one's most important relationships can take on the semblance of a never ending crisis. Conducting a relationship in crisis is no way to get the most out of life.

Many couples can be helped by simply becoming aware of the role the silent killer plays in their relationship, and by making a simple plan to address it. By dealing with this monster head‑on they often make dramatic improvements and report feeling happier.

Instead of blaming each other for the declining level of satisfaction in their marriage, they can target the real problem, and no one has to lose. Consider it a win‑win perspective. Then each person can work enthusiastically to rid the relationship of excess and harmful stress.

Steps You Can Take for Stress Relief in Your Relationship

• I recommend that couples (or families) sit down and talk about stress and other concerns on a regular basis. No fighting allowed. You must talk calmly and without pointing fingers. Otherwise communications will break down.
• Another helpful idea is for spouses to agree to stop criticizing the other. Criticism is harmful any time, but especially when people are under additional stress. A sick child or parent in the couple's care can bring out the worst in everyone.
• Don't mistreat your partner or be unkind. Learn to deal with your pressures, rather than letting them get the best of your relationship. If you find yourself feeling ransacked by stress, pull yourself together and deal with it before spending time with your spouse.
• It may be helpful to talk about ways you can simplify your lives, too. If you are trying to do too much, agree to slow down and cut back. Simplify. Enjoy what you have. Less is more. Stop striving to add more and more responsibility!
• Learning to balance your life is an essential skill that eludes many people today. A professional coach can help you achieve greater balance, and make lifestyle changes that will help everyone to derive more pleasure and meaning from life. A stressful life is often a life out of balance.
• Do write a simple stress reduction plan. Each spouse should decide what job he/she would like to do in bringing about change, or what she/he would like to work on. Set practical and realistic goals.
• If something is wrong, deal with it. Don't put off delicate discussions. Get it out in the open and address it together. Now. Buried problems only create eventual faults in the bedrock of your marriage. Keep everything above board, and do nothing for which you will eventually be ashamed.
• Work as a team, not two separate individuals. If you see that circumstances are pulling you apart, take action. Your relationship can be bigger than any circumstance. Put it first. Make it a priority.

Couples who value their relationship, act on its behalf and work on stress relief as a team stay together.

Go to Advice on Relationships from Stress Relief Made Easy