Finding a realistic way to keep your true love alive is no easy task, despite hundreds of articles and books that claim to tell you how. Although there is a lot of bad advice out there, a few sensible, research-driven strategies will have you enjoying a happier marriage . . . in no time!
Fact is, it can be difficult to preserve true love in today's crazy world. Of course, improving your marriage or spicing up a romantic relationship is never easy. It’s not easy to change old behaviors, even when we want to. Old familiar brain states cancel out new ones, and keep us behaving the way we’ve always behaved.
True love isn't enough . . . even those in love need to know how to spice up their relationships, especially after the infatuation phase has worn off.
What’s worse, marital counseling often fails to help much and may even make matters worse! Sadly, we haven’t always had good research to guide us in developing ways to help solve relationship problems. But that has changed in the past several years.
Here are a few of the most helpful ways you can keep your true love going . . . and practical steps in resolving conflict and spicing up relationships, based on the research, and my nearly forty years of professional experience.
Do you see yourself as better or more important? Do you look down (or talk down) on your spouse? Do you feel superior to him/her? Even if you do not think you are superior, have you been acting superior?
If the answer is yes, you do feel superior or have been behaving in a superior way, your relationship will surely suffer. Superiority is the kiss of death in a marriage or any relationship. To spice up your relationship you have to begin finding ways to see your spouse more favorably, and interject equality in your marriage.
To solve your relationship problems and allow true love to work its magic in your life, you must keep a positive appraisal of your spouse foremost in your mind . . . and avoid falling prey to the temptation to find fault with him/her.
Naturally, you may have to think about yourself more realistically, and re-assess your own contribution to the marriage. It can help to find out how your spouse really sees you. Many relationship problems go unsolved because the spouses may not always be honest with themselves.
Wouldn't it be nice if there were a magical wand you could wave to keep your true love for a lifetime? Marriages and romantic relationships are, after all, a little tricky! Everyone has relationship problems. And sooner or later, everyone needs to find ways to spice up relationships that have become less exciting or interesting than we would like.
But studies of happy and successful spouses can show us the way. Researchers have documented the skills of highly effective and successful relationship partners. Now we know there are many strategies you can employ to effectively be sure you keep your true love. You can always improve your marriage by applying a few key strategies for resolving relationship problems.
None are more helpful than giving up a contemptuous attitude, and to cease making hurtful comments that overtly or covertly express contempt – a huge barrier to cooperation and communication.
If you sincerely want to learn how to scientifically spice up relationships, the biggest clincher of all may be to make sure you do not view your spouse as being beneath you. See your relationship as a relationship consisting of two equally important partners . . .
and not a one-person show.
It always helps to ask your spouse what you can do to make his/her life happier, too. Listen carefully to the answer and thank him/her for letting you know. Then get to work!
Try these tips to enhance and build on your true love, and keep your relationship going strong. Soon you'll be on your way to a vastly improved and happier life.