Welcome To The Latest Issue Of Relationships Matter!

Winter Edition

Welcome to the winter issue of Happy Relationships Matter!

In this issue youfll get information on how to tell if you're in an abusive relationship, how to deal with depression and much, much more. Get tips on fixing relationship problems, enhancing your mental health and leading a happier life right here.

And I have news . . .

EXCITING NEWS! My new therapy practice in the central Kentucky area is doing well. If you are in need of therapy or counseling, and you live in Kentucky, please go to my website to learn more about my services.

My new office is located in the Hamburg area of Lexington, Kentucky, and is very easy to get to. It is located near I-75 and I-64, and is close to all parts of the city.

I am accepting new clients for individual, couple or family sessions. I take most types of insurance and offer a sliding fee scale. You may schedule your appointment on line, too. Just click onto the escheduler button and you can select the time and date of your appointment without making a single telephone call. LETTER FROM RICHARDfS DESK

Hello Everyone,

Youfll be happy to know all the articles in this ezine will be BRIEF and easy to read. I have been too busy setting up my new therapy and coaching office in Lexington to write much, and Ifm trying to keep the length of all my articles down . . . so people will have time to read them!

I have included articles of value to everyone. Please send me an email and let me know how you like this issue of Happy Relationships Matter!

Happy reading.


Gang activities seem to be on the rise in America and some other countries, and the average citizen needs to know something about how gangs operate. The largest gang threats in the U.S. come from the gBloodsh and gCrips.h Latino gangs forming in and around Latino communities also pose a series problem. Ethnic gangs started around the 1840s in New York City, so they are not a new problem. Originally, they formed among minorities to provide support and protection against the system and their many adversaries. Prohibition provided for gang income in the early part of the twentieth century.

What are modern-day gangs doing? Mostly they are involved in drug-related activities. They make money by importing and distributing illegal drugs. Meth, gdesigner drugsh, marijuana, cocaine and heroin create large sources of income.

Lack of family structure and societal inequalities contribute to gang development, and appear to give the un-empowered resources they donft have. Gangs offer a way to fight back for those who have lost faith in the majority culture. In terms of the disintegration of the family, a high percentage of gang members report coming from fatherless families and families strung out on drugs. Poverty, alcoholism, drug addiction and family members who are in prison place a burden on children who are trying to cope. Membership in a gang may sound frightening, but it offers the potential for hope and power, and emotional support, to young people who are in serious jeopardy.

Early identification is one of the keys to intervention. How can you help? By making a difference in a young personfs life before it is too late! Parents, teachers, police officers, counselors and religious leaders must work together to identify kids who are at risk and do something to help them before they become disillusioned and get involved in a gang.


There is a right way to wash your hands, and knowing this simple routine can keep you from coming down with a virus during these long winter months.

Most people donft wash their hands often enough and donft take the time to wash them effectively. When should you wash your hands? Often! For example, you should wash your hands before, during and after preparing food, before using the toilet, after blowing your nose or coughing, and after touching garbage.

How should you wash?

œ Apply soap to your hands as you run clean water over them

œ Lather your hands and scrub all areas of skin thoroughly

œ Wash for 20 to 30 seconds under running water

œ Dry your hands completely

I have observed many people wash their hands in the restrooms of restaurants, airports, stores and coffee shops, and Ifve noticed few people ever wash their hands for more than a few seconds. Many people donft wash at all. So the average restroom may not be as clean as you think, so take precautions to avoid picking up germs in those locations.


1. Attend a support group, such as AA. Local churches and temples often sponsor groups. Trying to solve the multiple and persistent problems of an addiction can be almost impossible if you go it alone.

2. Get counseling. Your counselor or therapist can help keep you on the right path and help you to honestly face your issues.

3. Exercise often. Exercise just happens to be one of the most powerful anti-depressants in the world. Exercising will keep your body and mind fit, and make you less prone to depression and anxiety.

4. A healthy diet can work wonders. Eating fresh, whole foods prepared in healthy ways can make an enormous difference in your life, your mental attitude and energy level. Avoid fast food. Eat good natural food to build your immune system, keep you healthy and strong, and reduce cravings.

5. Associate with optimistic people who do not abuse substances. Make sure your friends truly care about you and want to help you stay clean and lead a life of happiness and recovery. Choose to spend time with friends and family members who inspire and challenge you in constructive. Wonderful relationships can help fill the void in onefs life that may have led to the addiction in the first place. Yes, good relationships make a huge difference. They will make you happier and help you weather the storms more easily. Always remember to try and give as much or more than you receive.

In giving there is a ton of therapy!


Depression is no easy yoke to carry. Life is tough and itfs easy to get depressed. After all, bad things happen to good people. And sometimes we have trouble dealing with our bad breaks.

I am going to talk about a simple yet effective way of decreasing a common type of depression and improving your overall mental health. As a clinician, I often work with depressed children and adults who feel like theyfre stuck and canft get out of the quicksand in their lives. While there are numerous clinical techniques for reducing depression, I have seen this one produce great results. I call it taking care of yourself or giving yourself excellent self-care. Extreme care, if you will.

Many depressed people spin their wheels trying to make others happy, trying to solve other peoplefs problems, enabling other people or giving so much to the people in their lives they canft find any time to do anything for themselves. But if you really want to do something about your depression . . .

try turning over a new leaf and spend a little time making yourself happy. How? Well, start by seeing yourself as important as everyone else in your life. Assign top priority to caring for yourself. See yourself as at least as important as others, and find new ways of being good to yourself.

Donft worry. Itfs not selfish. Itfs essential to care for oneself. Otherwise, youfll end up feeling tired, overwhelmed and exhausted. If you can find time to do for others, you can make time to do for yourself. Do something, just donft sit there and think about it. Even if you donft feel like it, get up off the couch and give yourself a night out on the town. Or go for a massage. Call a friend and go out for dinner, talk and have fun. Get the exercise you need. Have a good laugh at the comedy club.

Take care of yourself as if you were a special child in need of special care. Treat yourself like a king or queen. Soon youfll be feeling a little better. And youfll stay healthier and stronger because youfll be meeting your needs on a regular basis, instead of ignoring them! Please donft give up your life just because you have a sick husband to care for, or you have a million responsibilities, or whatever . . . make time to nourish yourself. By giving to yourself, youfll be strong enough to give to those you love.

Remember, ignore your own physical, emotional and spiritual needs . . . and you wonft be helping others. Someone will have to take care of you!


Some folks are in denial about the quality of their relationships, preferring to glorify it. But may secretly wonder if they are in an abusive relationship. I will give you a simple way of giving your relationship the litmus test. You may find you have one or more abusive relationships in your life.

So how do you define abuse? Herefs how relationship experts see it . . . any behavior that serves to control another human being is abusive.

Controlling behaviors can be quite subtle, but seek the same end result as those that are blatantly aggressive. Now letfs define violence. Ready? This definition may surprise you, but it is universally accepted among relationship violence experts. Violence constitutes any behavior that serves to control another human being and causes fear in them.

Physical and sexual violence serve to control someone through physical (body contact) methods.

Every person on this planet has the right to be in healthy relationships free from abuse and manipulation, to be loved on his or her merit . . . to be loved, respected and cherished.

Those who abuse others are not honest with themselves or their partners. They deny accountability. They refuse to accept responsibility for their actions. Often they blame the victim or justify their violence in intellectual ways. Or they may distort the facts, minimize the truth and wallow in self-pity, manipulating their victim to get what they want.

If you are in an abusive relationship, be careful. Quite often the abuse becomes more controlling and violent if the abuserfs methods do not work. And remember . . .

As control over a person increases, genuine love, respect and justice DECREASE in a relationship.


Those who wish to set up a therapy or coaching appointment at my new office in Lexington, Kentucky may do so by simply logging onto my website and clicking onto my e-scheduler button. You will be taken to an appointment page that lists available appointments. You can click on the date and time you want . . . and youfre done! I will be notified and will get back to you within 24 hours to confirm your appointment. No need to make a bunch of phone calls and no phone tag to play! Schedule an appointment any time of the day or night, 365 days a year.


I am very pleased to announce the publication of my new eBook on how to lead a happier, more fulfilling life based on the latest research in psychology. The book is finished and has been edited. I am seeking a copyright for the book at this time, and I will make it available for sale on my website within the next few weeks. I will give all my ezine readers first dibs, along with a handsome discount. Stay tuned. Ifll publish a special edition of Happy Relationships Matter! To let you know when the book is ready and will enclose your special discount code.

Thanks for reading my ezine . . . and Ifll see you again in the spring, if not sooner!

Richard E. Hamon, LMFT Your Relationship Coach and Therapist

P.S. It's been a pleasure having you as a newsletter reader. Please let me know if you have any ideas or suggestions for future issues!!! Or if you need help with anything.

Ezine Articles

In addition to writing articles for Happy Relationships.com, I write articles for EzineArticles.com, and they get the articles published on the internet. In the past couple years, I have written over 100 articles on all kinds of mental health and self-improvement topics, such as depression and anxiety, loneliness, leadership and management, happiness, relationships, near death experiences, meditation, hypnosis, parenting strong, resilient kids, and interpreting your dreams, etc.

If you'd like to see some of my articles, feel free to run over to Ezinearticles.com, and look up my author's page.

Get the links below . . .

Go to my Happy Relationships website here.
Look into my Relationship Solutions eBook here.
Look up all my articles here.