Back to Back Issues Page
Happy Relationships Matter, Issue #56 -- It's Here! No more Waiting!
December 15, 2012
Greetings Everyone!

Welcome To The Latest Issue Of Relationships Matter!

December Edition

Welcome to the December issue of Happy Relationships Matter! The Hamon Group, LLC hopes you have been having an enjoyable and productive month! Thank you for reading our electronic newsletter.

And happy holidays, everyone.

Keep your eye on future issues. We will offer GREAT deals on eBooks, CDs, Courses and other items that will help you improve your relationships and increase your happiness quotient. Discounts will be the DEEPEST for our subscribers, so don't miss an issue!

Plus, we have new eBooks coming out, along with a new RELAXATION CD, all written and performed by Richard Hamon, LMFT. Richard is working on a relationship enhancement workshop, too. See next month's ezine. It will be offered on Saturdays here in Lexington. There will be an electronic version, too, and it will be available as a downloadable course.

We'll keep you posted on new undertakings in the future.


In this issue you'll get information on a variety of mental health topics. Let me know if you want me to write about a specific topic of interest in the future.


If you are in need of counseling and therapy, and you live in central Kentucky, please go to my website to learn more about my services. You may also sign up for Life Coaching services, if you prefer.

Our office is located in the Hamburg area of Lexington, Kentucky, and is very easy to get to. It is located near I-75 and I-64, and is close to all parts of the city.

We are accepting only a very few new clients for individual, couple or family sessions, and it takes a couple of weeks to get on the schedule. We accept most types of insurance along with credit cards. You may want to call Ginny to inquire about available appointments. Her number is 859-264-1175. This month's feature article . . .


1. Bids for Connection

Learn to recognize your partner's attempts to get close to you, or his/her bids for connection. Instead of blocking those bids, or pushing your partner away, open your arms and welcome him/her. If your partner wants to talk, listen. If he/she wants affection, realize what is wanted and return the bid, in kind. Bids for connection can come in many forms. Learn how to recognize what is really being asked for and you'll be able to meet your partner half-way, rather than closing the door or wasting a bid.

2. Overcome Fear

Fear of intimacy (and fear of rejection) is only natural, thus it's easy to turn away. But every time you turn toward your spouse or recognize his/her bids for emotional connection, you add to the balance of your relationship bank account. And you build trust and loyalty.

Sometimes we long for connection with our partner, but go about it in the wrong way (for example, by demanding attention or expressing righteous indignation, or lashing out) or we send the wrong message. What's a better way?

Give respect. Turn problems into solutions. And opportunities to get closer. You'll soon start feeling connected again, rather than alone and separate.

3. Give Respect and Admiration

Work through anger and contempt by expressing respect and admiration. Let your partner know how you feel, how much you respect and value him/her. Express gratitude for all your partner does for you. Thus, your partner will be more likely to turn toward you more often. You are offering a reward, and that builds closeness and trust.


Give the gift of optimism. Your partner will be happier if you keep a positive attitude and find the good in life, and you'll both bounce back from adversity more quickly. And . . .

You'll both live longer and have more fun doing it.

5. Communication

Instead of criticizing, offer helpful information without putting your partner down or expressing anger or frustration. He or she will be far more likely to listen and stay engaged with you throughout the discussion. Otherwise, they'll fell hurt or devalued and retaliate or cut you off.

Thyroid Problems

1. If you are depressed or anxious, you may have a problem with your thyroid. 20 million Americans have thyroid problems, and another 10 million may have undiagnosed problems. Your thyroid can make you sick and create havoc with your emotions.

2. If you have trouble controlling your emotions, find that you are often angry or tend to fly off the handle easily, you may have hypothyroidism or hyperthyroidism.

3. Thyroid problems can be very hard on relationships. A depressed or anxious partner who feels badly much of the time, and can't seem to control his/her responses, can be pretty hard on a relationship. The couple should talk about the problems and patiently try to accept the very real symptoms of dysfunctional thyroid, and prevent them from damaging their relationship. talk about it and develop a plan.

4. So get your thyroid tested and find out if your thyroid is ill-affecting your life, and making it hard for you to control your moods.


Anyone who has ever had a panic attack knows how terrible it can make you feel. Panic attacks are caused by many things, such as, stimulants and illegal drugs, trauma and stress, hypoglycemia, and passive or avoidant behavior, along with procrastination. When we feel the world is closing in on us, it can be hard to keep from going into a panic.

How to treat panic disorders:

1. My favorite technique is Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, where a therapist helps you to analyze your thought patterns and assists you in finding more rational and effective methods of thinking about and resolving your problems. It teaches you how to catch "logical errors" and correct them so you will feel better and be more successful.

2. Getting more exercise is another simple but extremely effective way to reduce anxiety and panic problems. Exercise is a powerful anti-depressant, too. Get more exercise and your thyroid gland will function more effectively, as well. In fact, exercise will boost your metabolism and power up your immune system . . . and take years of your life!

3. Do breathing exercises to push away anxiety and help yourself relax. Good breathing skills can make you feel stronger and more in control. Deep breathing can combat feelings of nervousness and panic, and help you in overcoming fearful situations. the more your practice the better breathing will work for you.


1. Keep it simple and avoid trying to do and spend too much. Stop trying to please everyone and settle for less, which is more.

2. Focus on what's important; keep priorities straight; preserve that which is truly meaningful and let go of the materialistic side of the holidays.

3. Manage your emotions. Take care of yourself, eat properly, exercise, keep a balance in your life, and be sure to have some fun.

4. Give to others; remember the real joy is giving and seeing others become happy, not in receiving.

5. Avoid working too much; get off the treadmill and take time to relax and let go. Slow down . . . and stop for a while . . . Doing nothing will work wonders for your overwhelmed side.


Some people are so busy they do not notice the beauty around them. This is true all the time, but especially during the holidays. That's why I recommend that my clients take time to keep their eye on nature throughout the busy holiday season.

So you drove to the mall, but did you notice the red-tailed hawk perched on the electric wire?

Did you stop to observe the glorious setting sun which spilled orange and gold and crimson clouds across the horizon?

We've had some frosty mornings lately, here in central Kentucky. We could complain about the cold, but a better idea is to take notice of how beautiful a frosty field is. When we take time to see the beauty around us, and to stop and focus on it, that beauty becomes a part of us . . .

and we carry it with us throughout the day.

Take time to look for examples of winter's beauty. The colors are subtle and muted, but still lovely and inspiring. Take a drive in the country and feast your eyes on the beauty of horses behind a fence, or cows grazing in a snowy field.

If you're stressed and overworked, then you should spend as much time as possible courting nature. Look for her hidden gifts, and you'll be amazed at how much joy she can give you.

So Long and Take Care

Well, that's it for now, folks. Stay tuned next month.

Check out our exciting new developments and services. Have a great holiday season, and thanks for reading our eZine! let me know how I can help you with your relationships or other concerns.

Richard E. Hamon, LMFT Licensed Therapist Certified Coach Board Certified Supervisor

P.S. It's been a pleasure having you as a newsletter reader. Please let me know if you have any ideas or suggestions for future issues!!! Or if you need help with anything.

Ezine Articles

In addition to writing articles for Happy, I write articles for, and they get the articles published on the internet. In the past couple years, I have written over 100 articles on all kinds of mental health and self-improvement topics, such as depression and anxiety, loneliness, leadership and management, happiness, relationships, near death experiences, meditation, hypnosis, parenting strong, resilient kids, and interpreting your dreams, etc.

If you'd like to see some of my articles, feel free to run over to, and look up my author's page.

Get the links below . . .

Go to my Happy Relationships website here.
Look into my Relationship Solutions eBook here.
Look up all my articles here.

Back to Back Issues Page