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Happy Relationships Matter, Issue #63 -- It's Here! No more Waiting!
January 10, 2015
Welcome To The Latest Issue Of Relationships Matter!
HELLO from Richard Hamon, LMFT . . . here’s the answer you’ve been waiting for and the guidance you need . . . 1. How To Make New Year's Resolutions Succeed . . . 2. How to revive your ho-hum relationships . . . 3. The Key to staying healthy this winter and . . . 4. How to kick the butt out of depression and anxiety! 5. My new E-Book Relationship Gold
This year, my Relationships Matter! eZine will give you more of what you need to stay happy and healthy during 2015, and to make the year the best year you’ve had in a long, long time. My promise to you.
And for all of those who receive counseling and therapy services from the Hamon Group LLC here in central Kentucky, this eZine will help you to keep up with what's going on in our practice, and give you additional inspiration in reaching your personal and professional goals.
HOW TO MAKE YOUR NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS STICK
Over 90% of Americans fail at keeping their new year's resolutions. Usually due to poor follow-through and lack of consistent effort. Here are a few tips on making it easier to succeed.
New Year's Resolution Tips
1. Just One or Two Resolutions, Please!
Two or three goals are better than five or six. When you have too many, you are more likely to fall short.
2. Start Somewhere Now
Set a goal and take a first step toward it. Avoid procrastinating. You'll feel good about yourself and you'll be off and running.
3. Get A Coach or Partner
Coaches can make a huge difference. Schedule a set time to check in with your coach, several times a year. That will keep you honest. If you have to check in once a week or month, for example, you won't be able to quit without your coach knowing. Why do you think athletes, high achievers and performers have coaches?
4. Remember It's Important
If you don't make your resolutions stick, who will loose? Well, besides yourself, your loved ones, friends and associates, and the rest of the world will loose.
5. Baby Steps First and Big Ones Later
I like to think we often fail at finishing our resolutions because we make the steps or chunks of work too big. It can LOOK impossible, if it's too complicated or involved. Try following the KISS approach (keep it simple, stupid) :-). It works for me.
6. Make your resolutions a part of your inner or spiritual life.
Pray and meditate about them. Write mantras about them. Keep a list on the bathrooom mirror.
Get a spiritually inclined person to help you. How to find a spiritual master? Simple. Just look for someone who gives and gives. The most giving people you know are usually the most inwardly advanced and highly developed.
How to tell if a person is truly spiritual? Here's the acid test. If they aren't truly and honestly humble, they ain't it.
HOW TO REVIVE YOUR HO-HUM RELATIONSHIPS
Too busy to keep up with your relationships? It’s a common problem today. But neglecting a relationship can surely come back to haunt you in time. Here is my proven five-step formula for reviving your neglected ho-hum relationships.
The First Step is to realize exactly how important and wonderful good relationships can be. Relationships are our real wealth. Even relationships we’ve discarded can be important, and the best thing we can ever do is to revive relationships that are no longer working for us . . . rather than letting them go.
The Second Step is to contact the person with whom you were in a relationship and show an interest in them. Ask how they’re doing. Do some catching up, but keep the focus on them.
Critical point: Avoid talking about yourself, except to answer any questions they make ask about you only briefly. Keep the focus on the other guy/gal.
The Third Step is to LISTEN. Try to understand what they’ve been going through, good and bad, and try to see where they are in their lives. The more you understand, the better friend you can be, and the easier you can get the relationship going again.
The Fourth Step is to express concern and or affection for them. Showing that you care (and saying it) can help reconnect you with this lost friend, potential valuable ally and resource. Come on now, reach out to this person and begin to rebuild that lost, nearly forgotten or broken relationship.
The Fifth and Final Step is to schedule another phone call, meeting or get-together. In other words, ask if it’s okay for you to contact him/her again soon. And suggest that the two of you do something interesting and exciting. Make a date to have fun or do something enjoyable.
And, after you’ve set it up, remember to follow-through. So, right after you’ve scheduled or promised to get in touch again, put a reminder on your calendar to do it! A tip to ensure follow-through is to leave more than one reminder for yourself.
Have you been thinking about renewing an old relationship or lost friendship? It’s easy to reconnect with a friend or business associate, if you follow my five-step formula for reviving your neglected, ho-hum relationships. And you may want to remember these words of wisdom: Never burn a relationship bridge. For it will, in time, come back to haunt you.
THE KEY TO STAYING HEALTHY THIS WINTER
The secret to staying healthy is to keep your immune system strong. And I will focus on psychological keys to enhancing your immune system and overall health in this article. As you know, mental and physical health go hand-in-hand. So let’s use our minds to help our bodies stay healthy and strong.
Tips For Staying Healthy This Winter
1. Satisfy the dictates of your conscience. Avoiding guilt and negative feelings can go a long way toward making you healthy. Do the things you know you should do. Follow up on the leanings and impressions of your conscience. Avoid putting important tasks off. Listen to your values and goals, and stay true to yourself by following the dictates of your conscience. Those who are out of sorts with themselves tend to be less happy and their immune systems weaker.
2. If the lack of sunlight and warmth make you feel depressed or anxious, then bring more light into your life by getting out of doors on sunny days and lighting the rooms in your home and work place generously. Light can decrease depression and uplift your mood.
3. Surround yourself with upbeat friends, with whom you can laugh and play, and enjoy an especially gratifying satisfying social life. Those who have friends and are social in nature are happier and more fulfilled than people who keep to themselves.
4. Find the silver lining in every cloud. There is an art and science to logical, constructive thinking and inner dialogue. If you follow it, you will find it easier to fight off depression and illness.
My favorite technique for staying optimistic is to re-frame negative situations in a positive way. If you receive bad news, think in creative ways to find something good about the bad news. Focus your time on thinking about those positive aspects, rather than dwelling on the negative ones . . . and you’ll stay fit and healthy longer than the typical pessimist.
For example, if you’ve made a big mistake and you’re feeling terrible about it . . . think about how you can benefit from the mistake. What can you learn from it? What’s a blessing you can take from it? How can you use it to strengthen yourself and make sure you never make the same mistake again? Now, that mistake isn’t so devastating or depressing. In fact, you may be able to turn it into a major success!
To Sum It All Up
Well, those are my top four strategies for staying healthy this winter: build your mental health and you’ll strengthen your immune system. And you’ll have a happy new year by following these four techniques.
HOW TO KICK THE BUTT OUT OF DEPRESSION AND ANXIETY
Here are a few tips on how you can overcome depression and anxiety, the easy and natural way.
1. Make a new friend who is positive and upbeat and very likable. Friends exert a powerful influence upon our emotions and happiness. Spend more time with positive thinkers and less with pessimists.
2. Read an exciting and inspiring new book. Great books can literally turn you life around or at least make you feel happier. They can teach you powerful lessons, too.
Try reading “The Alchemist”, for example, by Paulo Coelho. A delightful book full of parables that has inspired millions around the world.
3. Change at least one bad habit. Drinking a soda before bed? Try drinking water. Cussing a lot? Try cutting that down to an occasional use of a choice word. Once you’ve made this single change, it will now be easier for you to tackle another bad habit. One step at a time, you know. Funny how that works.
4. Find someone who needs your help and give it freely, without demand or expectation. Giving fires your brain and heart up and makes you feel like a million bucks! So give your way to happy feelings and positive thoughts. Give and ye shall receive. It works. It really does.
A Personal Story
Not long ago, I stopped to help a cat who had been hit by a car. I took him to the vet and tried to save him. But, in the end, his injuries were too severe. But I felt good about myself for trying, and I made a new friend . . . a loving, caring Veterinarian.
Opening doors for others, saying “hi” to strangers, and going out of your way to help someone in need, can make the universe a better place . . . and give you the emotional and spiritual lift you need to succeed in all your endeavors.
You can improve depression and anxiety by engaging in certain positive behaviors. The sooner you get started, the quicker you’ll see results. Make a plan and get busy carrying it out. You'll even feel a bit better as soon as you start planning.
My NEW e-Book Just Published
Check this out . . . my New e-Book, Relationship Gold, which is now available on my site, https://www.happy-relationships.com
Want to get my relationship advice, but can't come to therapy? It's all in my eBook, Relationship Gold, a distillation of my thirty-five years' of experience in working with couples. I wrote it to help people get insight and strategies on how to find and mine the hidden gold in their relationships.
The book will enable you to affair-proof your marriage and live the life of your dreams. I know it sounds like a lot, but it's true. It offers some of the most critical information and tools for having great relationships.
My formula, based on my clinical practice, for a happy and successful relationship, is in the book.
Thank you for reading Relationships Matter!, and see you again soon!!!
Richard E. Hamon, LMFT, CCMHC, NCC Licensed Therapist Certified Coach Board Certified Supervisor
P.S. It's been a pleasure having you as a newsletter reader. Let me know if you have any ideas or suggestions for future issues!!! Or if you need help with anything at all.
Ezine ArticlesIn addition to writing articles for Happy Relationships.com, I write articles for EzineArticles.com, and they get the articles published with magazines and newsletters on the internet. In the past few years, I have written over 100 articles on all kinds of mental health and self-improvement topics, such as depression and anxiety, loneliness, leadership and management, happiness, relationships, Near Death Experiences, meditation, hypnosis, parenting strong, resilient kids, and interpreting your dreams, etc.
If you'd like to see some of my articles, feel free to run over to Ezinearticles.com, and look up my author's page.
Get the links below . . .
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