In our journey through life, we often encounter challenges that test our relationship skills, emotional maturity and self awareness. One way relationships can test us to the core--unequal relationships marred by a lack of reciprocity. Narcissism can negatively impact any relationship but what about the old Peter Pan syndrome? Someone asked me to explain the Peter Pan Syndrome, a construct from the past, and explain how it affects relationships. Here is my quick answer.

The Peter Pan syndrome refers to adults who seem to resist growing up and avoid responsibilities and commitments in favor of a carefree and adventurous lifestyle--the lifestyle of eternal youth. Immaturity, self-centeredness, and dependency are hallmark characteristics of the syndrome. Good luck, if you're in a relationship with someone like this. You will need to be understanding and very patient.

Narcissism, on the other hand, is characterized by self-destructive patterns such as a grandiose sense of self, lack of empathy, arrogance, and a need to be adored, among others. It is difficult to have a healthy relationship with a narcissist, and you must work hard to keep them on a pedestal and avoid criticizing them.

These two concepts are rather intertwined, as those who exhibit signs of Peter Pan syndrome may also exhibit narcissistic traits, potentially avoiding the responsibilities that exist within the context of adult relationships.

The Peter Pan Syndrome was a popular psychology term that was based on the character of Peter Pan in the J. M. Barrie story that was made into an animated movie by Walt Disney Productions in 1953. Basically, it means a person who never grows up. The female counterpart is the Cinderella Complex, which means roughly the same thing.

While these terms are not valid diagnoses, they offer interesting ways of looking at those who just want to have fun but never seem to get serious about life.

If you're in a relationship with someone who mirrors those qualities, you'll have to do the heavy lifting in the relationship, and you'll need to be okay with a relationship where your partner struggles to meet you half-way or may not even try. It will be up to you to provide the maturity, resolve and patience to make the relationship work. They can provide excitement, a sense of humor and spontaneity to the relationship, but they will be lacking in other areas, such as accepting responsibility and providing commitment.

Putting pressure on them to grow up isn't usually helpful. A better course would be to encourage them to enter treatment with a qualified mental health professional who specializes in relationships. Couple therapy may be helpful, although narcissistic individuals may not do well in therapy.

If you want to get along with someone who must be the center of attention, who cannot handle being wrong, and who must be in control at all times, learn to lower your expectations. Be clear about your needs and boundaries, and keep communication channels open. Avoid criticizing or complaining, and learn to manage your own disappointment in acceptable ways.

Men like Peter Pan, who never seem to grow up, and women like Cinderella can be exciting relationship partners, but you'll feel as though you are in a one-way relationship much of the time. Thus, you'll have to adjust your goals for the relationship.

Lastly, be patient and don't be afraid to reiterate your needs and expectations; be assertive and encouraging. But refrain from being critical and condescending. Narcissistic individuals do not respond well to criticism. Be prepared to give your partner time to change and in some cases, to grow up!

Good luck! One-way relationships are not for the faint of heart. You must be strong, and you must practice good self-care to succeed in a one-way relationship. Click on the images to dive deeper into these topics and learn how to overcome these challenges with these two articles on our site:

Check out our popular page, Types of Relationships, and you'll find links to many of our most popular articles on improving relationships, enhancing well-being and mental health, and finding happiness that is lasting and true.

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