How to Combat Loneliness
and Solve Relationship Problems:

A Happy Life Planner

If you want to combat loneliness, it may be easier than you think! This article will show you how to decrease loneliness, improve your relationships and feel happier and more fulfilled. You'll learn how to combat loneliness by following successful techniques I've used in my therapy and coaching practice.

OK, you feel lonely. And if that's not enough, you end up feeling ashamed of being lonely . . . and that's a double whammy. There's no doubt about it, chronic loneliness is a tough nut to crack. But there are ways to combat loneliness and beat the loneliness syndrome. Take it from me . . .I've been helping people do it for over 40 years.

Man in a business suit standing at a literal crossroads

Life Not Going According to Your Plan? At a Crossroads? It May be Time to Ditch Loneliness and Make a New Plan

Tips And Suggestions: A Few Tricks Of The Trade

As a professional helper, I have always specialized in relationships, and dealing with relationships has taught me, well, a lot about relationships! Allow me to share some of my knowledge with you. Below you'll find some easy and straight-forward ideas on how you can combat loneliness by breathing new life into your all-important relationships, and by improving your relationship with yourself.

You'll start feeling better right away . . .and you'll be on the path to cure loneliness.

Black and white image of a woman sitting with her knees pulled up to her chest, her left arm around her legs and her right hand over her face.

Combat Loneliness: Top Tips

Tip #1

1. Avoid feeling sorry for yourself. Yes, it is inevitable that everyone will get lonely once in a while. So we'll all eventually fall into the self-pity trap, but once we become aware of what we are doing we can stop! Instead of feeling sorry for ourselves, it's wise to be proactive and do something positive.

Okay, I admit this may not be easy, but it really pays off if you try to combat loneliness in the right way. Below you'll find an example of how I handled a bout of loneliness last week. So . . . I was thinking, I'm feeling a little down and out, and I'm starting to feel sorry for myself. OK, I can fight fire with fire . . . I can win this battle against loneliness.

Here's How I Attempted to Combat Loneliness

I went to a little café and bought a sandwich and a cup of decaf, and just breathed in the silence. Smelled the coffee and wonderful food scents. Listened to the classical music that was playing. Started up a conversation with an employee of the restaurant and said hello to a few of the customers, and suddenly . . .

I was feeling pretty darn good. I noticed a waitress was looking tired and stressed . . . an opportunity. . .

. . . So I made a point to be nice to her and try to lift her spirits. Just by making a conversation and using my sense of humor.

I felt a little better after talking with her, and I think she felt energized, too. Then, I began a conversation with the manager. And, by the end of the night, the gregarious manager and I were trading embarrassing stories and laughing up a storm!

Other customers joined in the fun, too. Happiness is CONTAGIOUS.

Also, while I was at the café', I wrote a couple of articles like this one, and that made me feel even better. You can write in a journal, send someone a message or read an inspiring article. Do something positive. You'll start feeling better.

When I went home I called my mother and told her I loved her. I ended up having a nice evening. And I felt great.

What worked for me can work for you, too. Take note that I didn't wait for someone to come along and tell me they loved me! Now, my mom was touched by words of affection, and that made me feel even better! By the time I went to bed, I was feeling pretty fair, indeed.

The Key

In review, if you want to combat loneliness and get rid of the loneliness bug, just remember to take a proactive approach, a step in the right direction. Take an interest in your surroundings. Interact with people. Do something nice for others.

Tip #2

2. Be a friend to yourself. If you have no one to come to your rescue, that's fine . . . you can always help yourself. Spend a little time with yourself enjoying nature. My clients have found, over the years, that a trip to the park or a walk through the woods or a drive to the top of the mountain can make them feel quite a bit better. If you want to learn how to be happy, try reconnecting with nature.

A stroll through the old neighborhood can or walking park can put you in touch with others. When I smile at a stranger I feel less lonely. When I meet an old friend at the arboretum I feel better, too. When I compliment someone on their beautiful dog I always get a warm-heart thank-you in return, and maybe a little pleasant conversation, to boot.

If you want to combat loneliness and stop feeling those lonesome blues, go to a city, state or national park and spend some time in a beautiful natural area. Walk your dog and watch how he gets such tremendous enjoyment from such a simple activity as walking (and sniffing). And, if he's like my Collie, oh, how he derives such joy from peeing on every bush and stick until, well, there is nothing left to squirt.

My dog can make me laugh when nothing else can. He's a life-loving, crazy nut!

Tip #3

3. Recruit music into your life to combat loneliness. Listen to some terrific music, the uplifting kind. Wear headphones and listen for the nuances. Oh, a beautiful song can be so uplifting! It makes positive changes in your brain.

Write a song. Put your feelings into the lyrics and melody. Express yourself in any artistic way and you will feel better! There is hardly any finer therapy on the planet.

Tip #4

4. Read a hilarious book. A book can be such a good friend. And touch the soul. Tune into a comedy channel on TV or the radio. Go to watch some wild and crazy comedians in your city.

Tip #5

5. Make contact with another person or touch someone's life. Cure loneliness by . . . calling someone from the past, perhaps a good friend from high school who you may have forgotten. Look up a lost acquaintance. You never know what a great discussion you might have.

A wonderful way to combat loneliness is to carve a pumpkin with your elderly grandmother . . . or someone's elderly grandmother. Or go to the local Senior Citizen's place and paint pumpkins with all the participants. Now you're cooking, or, I mean, painting.

OK, you can bake cookies, if you want, or cook up a meal with someone who would love to be in the kitchen with you.

If you need help solving a persnickety relationship problem, check out our most popular eBook, Relationship Gold, which offers easy but beneficial tips and tools for fixing your relationship.

Tip #6

6. Think Positive Thoughts and Use Positive Self Talk. Catch yourself thinking things like, "Gosh, could the world be any gloomier? I've never felt so badly. This is going to be a terrible day, I just know it!"

When you catch yourself doing this sad, sad self-talk dance, change everything up. Think more logical, uplifting, and empowering thoughts like these: OK, the day is off to a bad start, but I'll fix that . . . I know of some ways I can bring the sunshine out. Yes, it could be gloomier, and I'm thankful for the good things I have. This is going to be a great day, and I know that because I am going to make it a great one!" Changing depressing thought patterns will help you overcome loneliness like nothing else can. And . . .

Research shows that happiness affirmations can help you to stop feeling lonely and lead a happier life. Your positive, light-filled thoughts will affirm and deepen your happiness. For example, in times of distress, simply say to yourself, "My faith will get me through this dark hour."

Tip #7

7. Spend time in meditation, deep relaxation and prayer. Find a piece of the solitude rock and just sit in the silence, listening to the music that flows within, and get in touch with the cosmic universe. Build your relationship with your Higher Power.

Nothing has ever made me feel better! Thus, I am devoted to the lifelong practice of meditation. It squashes my stress, rockets me past my worries and problems, and centers me oh, so deeply in the sublime traverses within.

When you start feeling better you'll find your relationships improving. And because you will be making some new relationships along the way, you'll feel even happier! Outgoing and optimistic people tend to be the happiest. Yes, happiness is affected by our disposition. So get busy and do something positive . . . you'll develop your own creative ways to combat loneliness.

Combat Loneliness: Summary

In Sum

Whatever you do, don't give in to lonely feelings and the self-defeating patterns of self-pity. You can combat loneliness by doing something you love, taking positive action steps, and thinking encouraging thoughts. Try something new or do something nice for someone and you'll be feeling like a million bucks in no time!

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