There are simple and effective ways to cure loneliness, yet loneliness remains a serious problem in today’s world. People are often afraid to seek new friends or don’t know if they can trust strangers. They may not know where to go to find a good friend, or where to turn in time of need. And some individuals may be surrounded by people, yet . . .
they still feel lonely and unfulfilled. It may be a struggle to stop feeling lonely in the midst of a crowd.
A Good First Step
A good place to start in your journey to cure loneliness is to understand the reasons for your loneliness and to become fully aware of how loneliness is affecting your life.
Defense mechanisms may prevent people from recognizing just how lonely they feel. And they may be compensating for loneliness in various ways, such as working, drinking, or partying too much, perhaps in an effort to push aside empty or sad feelings.
Or some people may hang out with the wrong friends to deal with their loneliness . . . friends who may be a bad influence, and actually make them lonelier.
Sometimes people deny their loneliness or try to ignore chronic lonely feelings and despair. Also, some folks who have been lonely for a long time feel like their loneliness is part of who they are, or may be incurable. Thus, they never really try to solve the loneliness puzzle.
No matter what your situation may be, here's the good news: you can cure loneliness or make it better with a little consistent effort. No, it’s not as hard to do as you may think. Simply take the right action to create a shift in your thinking. That's how to find happiness, too.
Of course, if a person’s loneliness has led to a depressive condition . . .
. . . he or she may have a hard time trying to break through the barrier of discouragement to explore possible solutions and anecdotes. But it can be done!
In fact, lonely people often battle depression and anxiety, as well.
1. Figure out where you can find a few good friends -- new friends. Visiting your local watering hole, lounge or bar may not be the best choice. So where can you go?
Reading your local newspaper may be a good place to start, and reveal a different perspective on connecting with others. Even in small town papers, you’ll find articles on community events, and the activities of groups and organizations. If one interests you, make some phone calls and look into it.
Let’s say you love gardening. And you read an article about the local chapter of a gardening club and what they are doing in your area. Call a contact person or representative and ask how you can become involved with the group. Go to their next meeting and meet some people. Go to the meetings and participate in a project.
You’ll meet some mighty fine people, have fun doing work you love and learn more about gardening; plus, you’ll be able to share your gardening wisdom with others . . . all of which will make you feel LESS lonely.
2. Think about ways you can be of service to others in need. By finding a way to help others, your own emotional needs will often be met, and it will help you to cure loneliness in a big way. When we give of the heart we receive of the heart. The act of doing a good deed pushes out lonely feelings and opens the door to feeling more connected with others, and engenders a sense of belonging and attachment.
In touching someone’s life, our loneliness dissipates. And our service opens new doors of opportunity and connection.
Do a "random act of kindness" and bake a dozen cookies for your sick neighbor, or offer to take them to town. Find someone in need and be there for them.
You'll feel much less lonely by doing good deeds and putting smiles on face.
3. Search the internet for organizations doing good work in your community, or groups devoted to a hobby or interest of yours, get info and go to a meeting. Get involved in one or two. Offer your expertise or time. You’ll meet lots of good people who are trying to make a difference in the world. And just one new friend may make a difference in your life . . . and help you to cure loneliness!
Teach a class at the local adult education center. Your students and colleagues will form relationships with you. You'll be chipping away at that stubborn loneliness in no time.
4. One of my favorite ways to cure loneliness (one I heartily recommend to my clients) is to go within and consult the wisdom of your body. You probably have good ideas locked within yourself, just waiting to be uncovered. Perhaps they have been trying to come to your attention through dreams, or day dreams, but you haven’t noticed or you’ve been too busy to follow up on your good ideas.
Sit in the silence and wait for ideas or inspiration to emerge, leading you in the right direction.
Just how do you find the treasure-trove of helpful information hidden within? It’s easier than you might think. Pay attention to your daydreams and fantasies, which can be useful ways of exploring logical opportunities for change. What ideas or notions bubble into awareness?
Tap into your dreams.
Think about how you can cure loneliness before you fall asleep, increasing the likelihood you’ll dream about it. Write your dreams down as soon as you awaken. Analyze the symbols to unlock the wisdom of your dreams. Once you've planted the idea in your mind, forget about it and go to sleep.
Brainstorm. Think freely and openly! Brainstorm to find as many good ideas as you can. Select the best to explore further.
You can do insight meditation, too, a powerful technique for plumbing the depths of your inner mind, and waiting for insight to pop up, not from logical thought but the intuitive part of your brain and body. Sitting in the silence, being at one with the universe or your Higher Power, is a wonderful way of centering yourself . . . and of finding peace in solitude.
Some people are afraid of solitude, and avoid spending time alone. They are often prone to co-dependent or addictive relationships. But, spending time in solitude is one of the best ways to not be lonely . . . because solitude connects you to something far greater than yourself, and fills you with a sense of deep, soul-gratifying peace and harmony.
Listening to the silence is a spiritual act that does wonders for your brain, improves your mood and lifts your attitude. A way of attuning your inner being with the celestial.
You feel an inner peace, calm and bliss that decreases depression and anxiety.
If you listen to beautiful, relaxing music, while sitting quietly and meditating upon inspirational words or thoughts, you'll drift away to a special place within -- a place where you never feel lonely, but fulfilled in a powerful, but gentle way. You can sit in the silence and court solitude often, and you'll marvel at how it recharges your batteries and makes you feel stronger.
I meditate with music that plays softly in the background, and advice my psychotherapy or coaching clients to do the same. It can help you to get into a calm state of mind, allowing you to enter a state of quiet bliss.
Build a Deeper Relationship with Yourself
Meditating and spending quality time alone, soaking up solitude, may seem scary at first, but it's one of the ways you can build a good relationship with yourself. You'll learn to enjoy spending time alone, especially when you need to get away from the madding crowd or the chaos in your life.
When you are one of your best friends, you can never truly be lonely because you will always have yourself. You can rely upon, confide in and be with yourself.
5. Take a tip from the happiness literature. The recent research on happiness reveals the secrets of happy people and shows the way to cure the lonely, heavy-hearted blues. The research suggests that the happiest people are those who are outgoing and optimistic types who actively seek to connect with others.
So, why not go out and make good things happen, rather than waiting for good things to come to you?
Anyone can take a tip from the extroverts and develop an action plan to decrease their loneliness. Start with that first step. Make something good happen. Call or visit someone. Get information.
Be bold . . .
Remember to avoid sitting back and feeling defeated. Put a smile on your face and do something different to cure your loneliness.
6. Last but not least is my final suggestion for this article. Take in a decision making partner. Ask a good friend or trusted ally to help you cure your loneliness. Talk to your pastor, priest or rabbi, or other spiritual leader, speak to a professional counselor or coach, and take their suggestions seriously. If you are religious or spiritually oriented, ask your Higher Power for help, and trust in your faith. The help you seek will come to you in one form or another.
Getting counseling and therapy from a licensed therapist may be one of the best ways to get help with loneliness, depression and anxiety. You'll learn more about yourself and get the support you need to make changes and make them stick. Especially if you suffer from an anxiety or depressive disorder.
The Best News Of All
We’ve come to the end of our article and it’s time for me to reveal the best news of all . . .
What is my terrific news? A secret technique or amazingly magical strategy to cure loneliness?
It’s just a simple word of advice. Believe and Visualize!
Believe you can change and see the changes you want to make and you will find a way to cure your loneliness and be happier than ever. Everyone gets lonely at times. It’s nothing to be ashamed of or to fear. Tell yourself that you can conquer your loneliness, and close your eyes and make a mental movie of your life without loneliness. See yourself acting in new ways. Imagine that you're able to do anything you want, to make friends and influence people, to find happy, new relationships, etc.
Make your visualization as real and clear as possible. Visualizing what you want is a powerful way to bring it into reality.
Just take your loneliness in stride, avoid negative thinking, and take the right steps . . . simple steps . . . that will result in an improvement of your condition. Plus, don't forget to believe . . . believe and you will achieve!
You have the power to change your life for the better today. Even if you’ve failed to cure your loneliness many times in the past, you can still turn over a new leaf. In fact, it is the path of failure that leads us to the promised land of success. The more you fail, the closer you get to your goal. Every failure teaches us a valuable lesson. It's up to us to look for those lessons.
And to not repeat them.
Remember how to stop feeling lonely isn't as hard as it seems if you can identify what you've done in the past that hasn't worked and change it!
It's important to think positively, believe you can cure loneliness and act! Why wait until tomorrow? Get going and good luck! I know you can do it.
Read more of our articles on Loneliness . . .