Your Sex Life Can Make You Miserable: How To Ruin It Without Really Trying

This brief article reveals ways you can inadvertently ruin your sex life and sabotage your romantic relationships, in hopes you will avoid these mistakes and enjoy truly satisfying and happy relationships.

Four Little Known Mistakes That Can Ruin Your Sex Life

1. Let your friendship go

The friendship you have with your significant other is very important, and without it you won’t be having good sex. Many relationship problems start with an impaired friendship. Friendship fuels the flames of romance like nothing else can. If you want to have the best possible sex, you must begin with the best possible friendship. If you’ve let your friendship go, then work on getting it back. Do as best friends do. Spend time together, talk and really LISTEN without judging or criticizing. Be there for each other. Put your friend first. Have FUN together . . .

and when you’ve strengthened the friendship bond, your sex life with come back and reward you with the greatest sex ever!

2. Let your friends trash your sex life

Your social circle can affect your sex life. Mutual friends can ruin a relationship and cause romance to deteriorate. How does this work? Researchers believe that when a woman takes over a man’s friends, talking to them more than he does, his sense of autonomy, control and privacy plunges. In a new study, men whose wives confiscated their friendship group had ED twice as often as those whose partners left his friends alone. Certainly stress in the friendship arena can lead to ED.

Other studies show that a couple who have mutual friends may experience less cheating because their friends tend to keep an eye on them and warn them of impending trouble. So a mutual social network can exert a positive impact on a relationship.

Spending too much time with friends can be a problem for your marriage, too. The marriage needs to be priority #1 for you to have a great relationship and avoid relationship problems.

Remember, it's a good idea to keep an eye on your friends. Are they helping or hurting your relationship and your sex life? Ask yourself, are your friends friend or foe?

3. Allow ADD to run havoc with your relationship

Attention Deficit Disorder can melt away the good feelings in a relationship. If either partner has ADD or ADHD, the relationship will be more difficult, especially in the area of communication. And, if both partners have the disorder, look out! ADD can be the ticket for a crappy sex life. Miscommunication, misunderstanding, anger and resentment can result from ADD symptoms like inattentiveness, poor organization and failure to follow through on tasks.

ADD and relationships mix like oil and water! Forgetting important dates, rushing into things, not paying attention to your partner's feelings or cues, can destroy romance. Those with some form of ADD tend to take their partners for granted, fail to communicate effectively and tend to mishandle conflict.

What’s the anecdote? Get diagnosed, take medication and learn effective ADD coping strategies, as an individual and couple. Doing something about ADD can make a huge difference in your intimate relationship. Be sure to work together!

4. Get stuck in a comfortable little rut

Many of the couples I see in marital therapy suffer from the problem of falling into a rut or allowing their sex life to stagnate. Usually, the friendship has gotten lost and there are other relational problems. Sometimes couples put their relationship on the back burner temporarily in order to deal with a problem child or an illness in the family, but they never recover and return their marriage to the front burner . . . and it gets lost in the shuffle.

To get out of a relationship rut, be bold and do something different. Get going again, the sooner the better. It may help to re-frame your relationship by finding the good in it, as opposed to concentrating on all the faults. You’ll feel better about your relationship and you’ll believe in your relationship again! You can begin now to make your relationship a priority again.

How To Spice Up Your Relationship

You can spice up a relationship with a little effort and ingenuity. How? By simply focusing on your friendship and building the best friendship you’ve ever had. Also, focus on enhancing emotional intimacy. Get closer to each other emotionally, rediscover and reconnect, and soon your relationship will start feeling fresh again. Go out and have more fun.

Mix it up in the bedroom. Zig where you used to zag. Switch roles. Try some new lovemaking strategies. Invest in your romantic life. Surprise your partner. Create suspense. Avoid doing the same old same old! Remember . . . a predictable love life is like a ho-hum novel. It won’t satisfy for long! So, how can you make it unpredictable? Use your ingenuity and have some fun!

In Sum

1. Rebuild your friendship.
2. Get out of that boring rut.
3. Deal with ADD, if it’s an issue.
4. And spice up your intimate life.

If you need more help, seek relationship counseling from a licensed, relationship professional.

Don’t worry . . . as soon as you start finding new ways to support your partner, and begin reconnecting to each other, good things will happen! If you invest more time in your relationship and create exciting new memories together, you’ll be on your way. Soon you’ll be out of that rut and you’ll find yourselves on an exciting new journey . . . together . . . and your sex life will reward you a thousand times over.