Passionate Relationships

Passionate relationships make love sizzle. They cause you to levitate above your problems. Impassioned relationships make our brains cook. Or, should I say, our brains stimulate us more when we are in love or impassioned? We have a bounce in our step. Life seems glorious. Our problems don't matter so much.

Impassioned relationships work very well for both partners, although there can still be conflict and problems. It seems so much easier to solve problems in a relationship that clicks, than in a dead‑beat one. Everyone wants more of the glorious stuff. It is like the fuel of desire. It makes us look forward to every moment and gives us the gusto to embrace life fully.

But people ask, “How do I make my relationship more passionate?” They say, “We’ve lost our passion. We’ve tried to get it back, but it isn’t working. What are we doing wrong?” How do you pump more of the precious elixir into a stalled or lukewarm relationship or life?

Inviting More Passion into Your Life

It always helps if each person in a relationship is passionate about his/her own life, and has a good relationship with himself/herself. If you are passionate about your life, every day starts with your energizing smile. You can't wait to get out of bed! The other people in your life feel the energy and they want to be around you.

If you are passionate about your career, you are going to bring a lot of positive energy into your relationships. That can have a powerful influence for the good on the relationships that matter most. When each person is energized by his/her work, and they feel a sense of fulfillment because they are doing something they love and believe in, the relationship is going to percolate, baby.

When we view our work as a labor of love, we have a sense of mission and purpose in our lives. And we operate on a very high level of congruence. Our lives fit into a plan, a real plan, and we are doing something for a reason, an important reason, something we believe in. We love it and we are passionate about it.

If you are not happy in your work, the simple solution is to get happy! Don't accept the same old status quo of your life. Find more fulfilling work - something about which you can truly be passionate. Something you feel you were meant to do or believe in immensely.

You may, however, feel trapped in a job that can never make you happy. If so, it’s time for a change.

Sometimes people don’t want to hear that. They think it’s too much work or they are too old to train for another field. I have found that it is rarely too late.

If you need help taking the plunge, let me know, and we'll talk about ways coaching can help support you all the way to your goal of finding more fulfilling, life‑changing employment.

What About Romance?

In passionate relationships, people sometimes want lust or enchantment, not passion. They want passionate relationships to be characterized by that giddy state of affairs that often occurs during the first two or three years of a new relationship.

Mature relationships go through phases and changes, and the couple moves beyond the enchantment phase and settles into a quieter, perhaps more peaceful way of being together. It can be even more beautiful than the excitement of the enchantment phase, if the couple can stop and appreciate the warm glow that comes with knowing and loving each other ever so much more deeply.

Mature relationships can be like fine wine. The difference is subtle, but oh so good. Take time to find and nurture those subtleties.

TIPS AND SUGGESTIONS

  1. For more passionate relationships, I always suggest that each person do whatever he can to be passionate about life as an individual first. If there are problems to be solved, they can be solved. Again, that will set the foundation. Two happy individuals always find it easier to have an impassioned relationship than individuals who are discontented with themselves.
  2. Give your passionate relationships a check‑up. Are the two of you equally committed to it? Are you equally empowered? Does each partner have an equal voice? Is your marriage set up mostly for the convenience and comfort of one over the other? Does one spouse have more responsibility and work to do than the other? Is the relationship fair? Are the partners equally supportive and helpful? Are you experiencing conflict on a spiritual level? Is one person doing most of the giving?
  3. By addressing any concerns in these areas, you will improve your relationship substantially, opening the door to a stronger connection and the possibilities that it can bring.
  4. Passionate relationships are as much about true intimacy as anything else. Couples can go to an intimacy enhancement workshop or work on improving their emotional connection to each other. There are various books and workbooks available at your local bookstore which you can use as guides. Dr. Pat Love’s book, “Hot Monogamy” is a good one.
  5. Sometimes unexpressed concerns block intimacy. Those need to be ferreted out, addressed and resolved.

If you find it difficult to put your finger on these, or to talk about something especially sensitive, therapy or relationship coaching may be able to help, depending on the severity of the problem and the spouses' ability to level with each other, as well as the amount of anger in the relationship. We can talk about ways coaching can directly benefit your relationships and make you happier and stronger. Relationships that reach their highest potential give life great meaning, happiness, and joy.


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