Communication and Relationships:

Speak in A Soft and Supportive Way

Communication and relationships require hard work and courage. But, all the hard work is worth it, if you go about things in the right way. And, if you say what you want to say. 

What if you went outside to the flower garden and found your beloved had died of a heart attack? This happened to a client of mine. She was shocked because her husband was so young and apparently healthy.

It would truly be hard to lose someone like that.

After my friend had buried her husband, she told me all she could think about was what she wished she had said to him or done with him.

She spent the next several weeks telling him how much she loved him, how very much she cared . . . in her thoughts and prayers. It was as if she hoped he could hear her.

If she had had some kind of warning, she might have been able to say what was in her heart . . . before it was too late. But so many times there is no warning.

No one ever said communication and relationships would be easy to master. 

Say It in the Right Way

Communication and relationships . . . what a loaded subject. One of the key tools in your relationship toolbox should be the way you bring up concerns, problems or differences. Always use a soft approach or gentle start-up. An angry or argumentative tone just puts your partner on the defense and causes problems. It can help to ask yourself how you like for people to approach you. 

Yes, when it come to communication and relationships, follow the Golden Rule. 

But, do say what you need to say. Sometimes we want to say certain things, but we never seem to get around to it. Other times, we wait for the right time, but it never seems to come. We can cure the problem by saying it NOW.

Communication and Relationships: Building Good Habits 

I recommend cultivating the habit of digging down deep and speaking from the heart with all your loved ones . . . on a regular basis. If there is anything that needs to be said, say it. Don't wait.

After all, taking the time to communicate with care, concern and honesty is an act of love.

For some people who have a hard time speaking directly from the heart, this is a difficult task. But it is possible to learn. And the more you do it the easier it gets. After all, communication and relationships are almost synonymous. 

To get started, all you have to do is remind yourself that no one in your life is always going to be there. And you never know when the end of a relationship may come. So . . .

Say what you want to say and say it today!

Healthy people don't live mired in the past or chained to the future, but in the here-and-now. 

For example, if you think your daughter is doing a great job as a new mother, then say so and be perfectly clear about it. If you're sorry for neglecting her when she was little, sit down over a cup of coffee or tea and tell her. If you've never given your spouse enough credit for the love and devotion they have given you, say it tonight! If you need to apologize to someone, do it!

Why wait for a tomorrow that may never come?

Tips for Shooting Straight From the Heart

  1. The best time to tell someone how you feel is when things are going well and there seems to be no reason to say it.
  2. Or say it now - now is often the very best possible time.
  3. Keep it simple and be sincere.
  4. Say it with a smile or a hug.
  5. Let your words touch your loved ones in a special way. Give compliments and praise in a sincere but creative way that celebrates this person's life.
  6. Don't be afraid to use the word "love," as long as you remember actions speak louder than words!

Saying what you really want to say is usually easier than you think, if you'll just get started.

Ask yourself how many people, who have moved on, do you wish you could talk with again? What would you tell them?

Give it some thought and let that be a guide for talking with the living.

Communication and Relationships: In Sum 

I hope you will let this article serve as a friendly reminder for you to share your innermost loving thoughts and feelings with people on a regular basis. If you practice this wonderful interpersonal skill every day you will never have to wish you had said something . . . you will have exceptionally healthy relationships, and everyone in your life will know how you feel . . . they will feel greatly valued, respected and supported by you!