Loneliness and Depression

A Simple Anecdote

Loneliness and depression often go hand-in-hand, and are common problems that everyone experiences at one time or another -- one that millions of people face every day.

Changes in life circumstances can spell out a period of loneliness for anyone. The death of a loved one, relocating to a strange place, the loss of a job or a long illness can leave us feeling the despair of loneliness.

When we are lonely, time seems to grind by slowly and we may doubt whether anyone would find us interesting enough to offer their friendship. Sometimes loneliness breeds self-contempt. Loneliness may turn into depression, a more serious condition, and cause anxiety. And depression may turn into a vicious cycle, making us feel even lonelier.

It's not easy being lonely. Just ask a 48 year-old client of mine, who just got divorced, lost her best friend and is grieving the loss of her mother. She feels alone in the world. Disconnected from everyone. And she wonders how she'll be able to rebuild her support system. And, blaming herself for making so many mistakes in life, she  questions whether anyone would want to be her friend. 

Get that happy feeling back and your spirit will be contagious

Loneliness and Depression: A Simple and Often Overlooked Anecdote

I frequently suggest this strategy to clients who are dealing with chronic loneliness, and their reaction is almost always the same . . .

What? Are you kidding?

Actually, this works, even though it may seem quite preposterous at first . . . as long as you'll give it the old college try.

If you want to stop being lonely, forget about being lonely.

That's right. Forget about it! Stop dwelling on it. 

The idea is to stop focusing on your lonely thoughts and feelings, so you can free your mind to find opportunities for friendship and association with others...opportunities that may be hiding right under your very nose. 

Here's how it works . . . once you stop thinking about your pain, and the predicament you are in, you can begin to search for solutions. And you'll be more likely to find a solution if you think you will. If you have a positive attitude, your mind will be able to attract several opportunities for you to make new friends or find suitable companionship.

Yes, you could go to a bar and find some drinking buddies . . . but that isn't necessary.

There's another way. Its called giving. 

The Power of Giving 

Just try this powerful solution to your loneliness problem: find creative ways to give. Throw yourself into acts of giving. Try Random Acts of Kindness. You can actually give your way to happiness. Look for people who could use a little help and offer to be of service to them. 

Know someone who has a problem? Know someone who is down on their luck? Someone who could use a helping hand? Go and help him/her. Offer your assistance. Commit a premeditated act of kindness, even if it's just baking a cake for someone or offering to take their dogs for a walk. Anything that shows you care. 

It's a funny thing . . . as soon as we immerse ourselves in the joyful task of helping others, we forget about our own angst and our misery decreases . . . soon we begin to feel better. Our loneliness and depression begins to fade away. 

Our brains start feeling good again and sprinkle wonderful endorphins upon us. 

Try giving and loving more. You can always find people who could use a break. Pitch in and help out. And, suddenly, you won't feel so lonely or depressed. If you've been struggling with lonely feelings, I'd suggest taking a good, thorough course on loneliness to put an end to being miserable. There is no need to keep suffering when their are handy solutions available. Our course is unique because it is based upon my nearly 40 years of experience in the mental health field, and it covers the best, most effective strategies and techniques for reversing loneliness...techniques I've used in my private counseling and therapy practice for years. 

Loneliness and Depression: Additional Ideas

  1. Look within for answers, using prayer and insight meditation. If you are patient enough, these methods can work. Plus, sitting in the silence gives you a chance to feel good again and to reconnect with your Higher Power. You can access problem solving resources that are powerful and beneficial. 
  2. Consult your dreams. Dreams have a way of trying to solve our problems for us, so let them do their magic. Your inner mind will use your dream life to enlighten you as to how to solve your loneliness issues. 
  3. Engage in brainstorming activities. Think outside the box. Be willing to go where you haven't gone before, to consider new ideas and new activities that may take you in the right direction.
  4. Spend time with a trusted friend. Soak up the glow of companionship. Seek his/her advice.
  5. Be flexible. Avoid rigid expectations. Be willing to try new ideas and to change.
  6. Guard against negative thinking and predicting gloom-and-doom...these pessimistic thought patterns quickly become self-fulfilling prophesies. Instead, think positively and opportunistically, and use your imagination to visualize the life you want to have. 
  7. Learn more about the fundamental causes of loneliness, and the contributing factors, and identify the specific reasons you are lonely. You may need help with this, such as talking with a therapist or very objective friend. 
  8. Learn new ways of enhancing your social life. "The love you take is the love you make," according to Lennon and McCartney. 
  9. Breathe new life into damaged or old, forgotten relationships. 
  10. Get started right away. As soon as you start working on the problem, you will feel at least somewhat better!
Embrace your Relationships . . . they have the power to change lives!

Loneliness and Depression: Re-examine Your Relationships

Maybe you're relationships are letting you down...or your loneliness and depression are affecting your relationships. In a relationship but still feeling lonely?

Do you need to be less critical, more positive and loving? Less defensive? Take more time to listen? Think about ways you can become a better relationship partner. Then make a positive change or two, and give it time to make a difference. 

Talk with your partner and try to resolve the problem. Spending more time together or more Quality time may be the answer, in some case. Try improving  communication, if it's keeping you from connecting.

Try focusing on the good traits of your partner and celebrating his/her successes. Your relationship will improve and your loneliness will decrease!

Yes, enhancing your existing relationships can make a huge difference in how you feel. 

Got a depressed man in your life?

A husband, lover, father, leader or colleague? It's hard for men to realize they are depressed. You may be able to help, but it's critical how you talk to your depressed man. Avoid accusing him of being depressed or of letting you down, but bring up the question of depression gently and discuss it with compassion. Learn more by reading one of our most popular articles, How to Help A Depressed Man.

Got romantic problems?

Often what helps many of the couples I work with is breathing new passion into the relationship by becoming better friends, which leads to a better relationship in many, many ways. Just focus on your friendship and recover some of the old magic in your romance. Plus, focus on getting closer than ever by discovering new things about each other and having more fun together, taking your relationship to new places!

How to Keep Being Lonely (If You Really Want To) 

If you have loneliness and depression, the worst thing you can do is nothing, or to sit around feeling sorry for yourself. Of course, we've all done that before, and it's a tempting trap into which to fall!

Once you've stopped concentrating on your lonely thoughts and feelings (and feeling as though there is no way out of your situation), you can begin to open your mind to wonderful possibilities of which you may not be aware. Brainstorm. take a walk and toss around some ideas. Sit in the silence and await inspiration from within. 

Then get busy doing some form of personal missionary work in your community, or being of service to those in need.

Expand your horizons.

Join new organizations.

Visualize yourself making new friends and influencing people. Yes, Meditation works very well to help you to gain valuable insight, see the future you want and to mobilize your inner strength. 

Live your life, in spite of your loneliness, acting as if you have the life you want. Your spirit will attract new friends and colleagues. 

If you give it a little time, forget about being lonely and just do something for others, your simple anecdote for loneliness and depression will work like a charm.

Yes, you can nip loneliness and depression in the bud, if you take the right approach. Try giving more, concentrating on relationships and other simple, but effective techniques for decreasing loneliness and depression. Look into our one-of-a-kind email course, Cure Loneliness, reprogram yourself, and find out how to put an end to your loneliness in just 14 days. Learn how loneliness starts with how we see the world, and discover how to adopt a healthy mindset that continually fights against loneliness and brings opportunities for love and connection into your life. Stay positive and never give up. 

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