Do you have relationship problems? It isn’t easy to give your relationship the proper care once you've developed bad relationship habits. Have you grown accustomed to abusing friendships, treating your alliances as throw-away commodities or not communicating and expecting the other person to be the mature one?
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It is hard to learn a new ethic of conducting exceptionally satisfying relationships and making the necessary changes to keep them that way. It may not be easy, but it can be done.
Amazingly, some people will develop an insensitive attitude toward business relationships, too. But in business, it is absolutely critical to network, and you can’t network if you are driving people away when the first sign of a conflict arises. The whole idea behind networking is to add valuable names to your address book, not to erase them.
A few years ago I hired a company to build a fence on my property. The fencers left quite a few details unfinished, such as posts that were not set properly and fabric that was not secured to the posts. They left big tire tracks in my yard.
I mentioned my concerns about this to the fencing supervisor. I brought it up in a calm and relaxed manner, as non‑threatening as I could possibly be. The man got angry and began shouting. It wasn’t his fault. “Why are customers so hard to please?” He shouted. And he stormed off the job.
You can save your relationship by learning more effective means of handling conflict. Conflict does not have to be painful. It can be a cinch to face conflict, if you know how.
When faced with conflict, you can repeat your usual behavior, perhaps allowing yourself to get defensive or controlling, or you can do something different. If what you have been doing has not been working, it’s time for a change. Otherwise, you will keep getting the same old unsatisfactory results.
We need to do something inside ourselves -think differently about the situation and act differently. There are peaceable ways to resolve conflict, such that conflict ceases to become so frightening and anxiety producing. And they are open to us once we make a pact with ourselves to stop getting angry or upset.
Whatever your conflicts, you should strive not to allow them to escalate into relationship problems‑ destroying behaviors. To do this, we need to practice emotional control or use our emotional intelligence whenever a conflict rolls around. The more out of control we become, the less likely we are going to make sound decisions. Any argument ceases to be productive at the precise moment when the parties exceed their emotional limits, or they become so emotional they can no longer think logically.
To save your relationships, you must dedicate yourself to refusing to get upset over trivial matters or minor complaints.