NDEs affect relationships in many ways. A Near Death Experience (NDE) usually causes major changes in a person's life -- good changes that affect relationships and every aspect of the person's life. NDEs can be transformational, but they can be difficult for loved ones, and challenging for the Near Death Experiencer (NDEr), as well. Values and beliefs, even personality traits, may be affected.
In this article I will examine ways NDEs affect relationships, and offer suggestions on how to cope with the changes that a NDE may cause. As a psychotherapist, I know how difficult change can be to deal with, even if the changes are good. And, as a NDEr, myself, I have seen, first-hand, how a NDE can impact every sphere of functioning and every, single relationship a person has.
After all, these sudden changes may alter a person's way of looking at the world and of making sense of it, disrupt the equilibrium of the family,
while adding a new wrinkle to the person's personality, behavior, and belief
system. Almost every activity of the NDEr will be impacted by their
life-changing experience. Thus, most Near Death Experiencers acquire a new lease on life, and soon realize that NDEs affect relationships -- all their relationships.
Family members and friends may be confused about who this new person really is, and whether the old one will ever resurface. They may not feel as though they know who this new person is or if they can relate to them. Sadly, sometimes NDEs affect relationships in derogatory ways, and some NDErs go through marital problems, after their NDEs, and a many get divorced.
It's important for the NDEer and his/her family to find ways of coping with change and to avoid giving up on their relationships. So many sudden changes occur in the NDEr's life that no one can fathom it all. The person who has gone through a NDE has been through a shocking, profound experience. Learning how to listen and support someone who has had a Near Death Experience (NDE) is critical for friends and family members.
Most people who undergo a Near Death Experience have been exposed to the light of Unconditional Love, and have gone through an enlightening encounter that has inspired and changed them in powerful ways. As a result, they will never be the same. They may think about their NDE all the time.
Most want to lead more loving, caring lives. And they want to know how NDEs affect relationships, so they can improve their relationships and lead better lives.
But, conflict can result in any or all areas of their lives. Although the average NDEr feels a great sense of joy and fearlessness, they soon
discover not everyone understands what's happened to them
or knows how to cope with the changes they're making. Yes, NDEs affect relationships, and some changes may be extreme
For example, Tom Sawyer made strikingly dramatic changes in his life, upon recovery from the injuries that resulted from a traumatic NDE. He was no longer a tough guy with a quick temper, but a loving, caring and sensitive person, who tried to help others find greater hope and meaning in their lives. Once a man who hated opera, he now had a passionate love for opera.
First, it's important to find a constructive lens through which to view
the NDE experience. Second, let love and understanding be your guide.
Yes, let love be the answer. When NDEs affect relationships here are constructive ways you can respond.
When NDEs affect relationships it's best to let love is the answer. After all, NDEs have visited a realm where they felt an unconditional love that was stronger than any they had ever known. Now they show us the way to love -- and help us to build love into everything. But, it can be hard for them to deal with all the changes, too.
Thankfully, the average NDEer seeks to love others more than ever before, and to improve the quality of their relationships, trying to love unselfishly and unconditionally everyone in their lives. They are more at peace than ever before, and more Christ-like in their thoughts, attitudes and behaviors. yet, they are less interested in religiosity than ever. But, they're dealing with so many things at the same time it can
But, their enthusiastic attempts to embrace others and to love them more deeply are often misinterpreted by others. It's not easy to make so many dramatic changes in such a short period of time, and it's difficult for their loved ones to comprehend. I recall after my NDE, I reached out to everyone with open arms, but I soon learned that not everyone was receptive, and some misunderstood my intentions.
Needless to say, the way NDEs affect relationships, it can be a challenge for everyone involved, and while there are countless blessings and advantages, there are problems and drawbacks, too. NDE-relationships can be fraught with frustrating misunderstandings, communication snafus and other complicating factors. But, there is good news.
Everyone can benefit from knowing a NDEr. And there are ways you can make adjustments to enjoy and improve NDE-relationships. It just takes a little extra effort and the desire to adapt to change. And that's what life is -- an ever changing state.
In fact, change is the only thing that doesn't change. How we respond to change that determines whether it becomes a force for good in our lives. It's usually not change that causes problems, but the way we handle it. Finding constructive responses is the key to success.
Are there drawbacks to a NDE? Yes, many people feel a bit confused about how to go on in their new lives and what they want to accomplish. Relationships are often strained, as family members and friends try to reconnect with their changed loved ones, and try to figure out what has happened to them, or how to get the old, familiar person back.
Examples of Problems that may Occur
NDE-relationships can be tricky, but if you listen well and show your support by asking the right questions, you can do wonders for your relationship with someone who has had a Near Death Experience. First, you must realize the person has been through a cataclysmic experience -- an experience so strong it's impossible for someone else to understand it.
How do you help? You listen. Really listen in a totally supportive and loving way. And realize the NDEr won't be able to tell you everything, since there are no words to describe some aspects of their experience.
Always listen with an open mind, and avoid expressing dismay or doubt at some of the details the NDEr may share with you. Avoid telling the individual what their experience means. After all, no one can really know.
It's a stressful time of change for everyone, since NDEs affect relationships in so many critical ways. There is so much to understand. And the future can seem so uncertain.
To be a good listener, you'll have to temporarily set aside your own ideas and beliefs, especially if the person's story doesn't fit with your ideas, or if it seems to run counter to the way you perceive things. The NDE is a real experience, backed by an enormous body of scientific research from around the globe, but sometimes an effective listener will have to work at having an open mind.
Focus on the positive and inspirational aspects of the person's story, and find something in his/her narrative that you can learn from. Express gratitude and joy that your NDEer has survived their brush with death, and realize he/she has gone through a transformational process. Many NDEers are infused with an all powerful and knowing sacred light during their journey to the land beyond, and have been changed by that incredible light, right down to the very cells in their brain.
They can not go back to being who they were before their NDE, even if they wanted to return to the status quo. Keep in mind they don't have all the answers and are seeking to find their new lives, along with the solutions that they must work out for themselves, along with the support of their loved ones. NDEs affect relationships in both positive and negative ways, but you can lower the stress involved if you take a positive position.
Also, it's very important to avoid interrogating the person. Instead, provide a trusting, non-judgemental acceptance of their story. Remember, they've been through a startling ordeal, and they've encountered powerful new perspectives on the meaning of life and death. But, it will take time for them to fully integrate their new experiences with their day-to-day lives.
By listening and accepting what the NDE means to the person, you can engender trust and good will. Encourage the NDEr to talk about any aspect of his/her experience they wish. Listen and show you understand, expressing gratitude the person is talking with you about such a private and often-times shocking experience. Realize an enormous change has occurred in their life, and it will take time for them to understand it all. Perhaps, even years.
Express confidence that you and the NDEer can work through any problems you're experiencing. Be positive, patient and hopeful, and you will impact the way NDEs affect relationships. Be willing to learn from the NDE your friend has had, and to use the valuable information he/she brings back to improve your life.
Avoid making the discussion about yourself or your (or someone else's) experiences, and allow the person to be the sole focus of attention. Set aside your own beliefs and ideas about the afterlife temporarily, so you can listen objectively and avoid putting your stamp of approval (or disapproval) on their experience. Also, do not interpret their experience for them.
It is extremely difficult to judge what they've been through or the power of their experience, which may be something you cannot comprehend or deal with at this time. Just do your best to understand and be there for them. And don't forget to express gratitude they have survived a life-threatening ordeal.
Your goal should be listening (which can be very therapeutic) having a helpful and therapeutic conversation with the NDEr, which can help him/her to share thoughts and feelings with you in an open, inviting manner. As time goes by, the NDEr may want to talk with you many times, as he/she attempts to understand their experience and apply lessons learned to his/her every day life.
Keep the door open. If you make it hard for them to talk with you, or reject their story in some way, they'll have to turn elsewhere.
Rather than expressing disapproval or disbelief, or trying to define the experience for them, in terms of your knowledge or point of view, help them to understand their own perspective. Realize, also, their journey has just begun. Many NDEers go on to make astoundingly positive changes in their lives, and to be a great help to others. And they never forget the amazing experience they've had.
Some individuals who've had a NDE are magnets for healing. Not only have some of their medical problems been resolved or healed, but they often radiate a healing energy that others find therapeutic. Many NDEers bring a powerful new understanding back to life with them -- an understanding from which anyone can benefit.
Some individuals have been healed of medical problems just be being exposed to the NDEr. Others report feeling an electromagnetic charge emanating from the NDEr. Not only do NDEs affect relationships, but they impact the NDEr's mental and physical health.
The average person who undergoes a NDE becomes:
If you need help with relationship problems as a result of an NDE or other cataclysmic event, feel free to contact me. You may be interested in my one-on-one email consultation program, which will give you the help you need from the comfort of your home, at a time that works best for you.
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Feel free to read more of my articles on NDEs.
Worldwide research shows Near Death Experiences are amazing blessings that change lives. Nothing we know seems to produce such a beneficial transformation that lasts a lifetime. But, there is a downside. So many sudden changes can be difficult for loved ones to cope with, and relationship problems often ensue. If you adopt an open, accepting approach to dealing with an NDEr, you will enjoy great success.